Late to the game reading this piece, but I'm grateful to you for writing it. Love hearing your perspective. Self-directed play is so important to me for my children. It doesn't come naturally to me either, except in ways that look productive to other people from the outside looking in (I bake bread, too, and I measure how busy my life is by whether or not I've smelled fresh baked bread in my house lately). It comes very naturally to my husband, so much so that we've defined one of the things we value in our family as "approaching life with a spirit of play." I'm learning it, both with his help, as well as experiences in my faith as well—though rarely through church which is unfortunate.
I hear you. Religion and play are sometimes posited as diametrically opposed, which I think is a huge mistake. If play is important in health/well-being/thriving, then it's important in theology too. I think loosening up makes people feel out of control, so I certainly understand the appeal of rigid orthodoxy/praxis.
I can relate to so much of this. I am also play-challenged and was very religious as a child as well. Still religious as an adult but in different ways, leavening my Lutheranism-by-way-of-Charismatic upbringing with Buddhist meditation (also kind of “work” now that I think about it). And I just read your post after Nadia Bolz-Weber’s thought-provoking take on the future of church -- https://open.substack.com/pub/thecorners/p/ziggy-stardust-and-the-future-of?r=29kh6&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post -- if you don’t already read her I’d highly suggest this one and would love your take on it.
I finished How to Stay Married and came back to update you! Short version: I'm glad I read it and I've recommended it to a few others who I thought could read it and appreciate it. Longer take: The presence of faith and religion in the book surprised me. I admired him (and his editors and publishers) for not toning that down. I've only selectively recommend it to people who wouldn't roll their eyes or put it down after the opening pages when he says "I'm a Christian," believers or not. Another reason I haven't widely recommended it is that it is painful to read, sometimes blisteringly honest and lays bare his vulnerability, and because I grew fond of him, I didn't want someone to laugh at that. I had to read it in small chunks because it's dark and there were times I didn't want to pick it up to finish. In the end, I'm glad I did.
This is really interesting—not at all what I expected you to say! Randomly someone recommended it to me the other day, so I think that means I need to pick it up. I like when writers segue from humor to a deeper, more brutal honesty throughout their career trajectory. Thanks so much for the update!
I am so intrigued by this review. You’re the third or so person who’s mentioned it. But I did hear that it definitely was dark. I will get to it eventually but might have to work my way up to it.
Late to the game reading this piece, but I'm grateful to you for writing it. Love hearing your perspective. Self-directed play is so important to me for my children. It doesn't come naturally to me either, except in ways that look productive to other people from the outside looking in (I bake bread, too, and I measure how busy my life is by whether or not I've smelled fresh baked bread in my house lately). It comes very naturally to my husband, so much so that we've defined one of the things we value in our family as "approaching life with a spirit of play." I'm learning it, both with his help, as well as experiences in my faith as well—though rarely through church which is unfortunate.
I hear you. Religion and play are sometimes posited as diametrically opposed, which I think is a huge mistake. If play is important in health/well-being/thriving, then it's important in theology too. I think loosening up makes people feel out of control, so I certainly understand the appeal of rigid orthodoxy/praxis.
Great thoughts and references! I'll have to check out your source material.
I just kicked off a new project related to religion and play: https://open.substack.com/pub/scientificanimism/p/scientific-animism-lets-invent-a?r=ax57k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Oh very cool! Will check it out!
I can relate to so much of this. I am also play-challenged and was very religious as a child as well. Still religious as an adult but in different ways, leavening my Lutheranism-by-way-of-Charismatic upbringing with Buddhist meditation (also kind of “work” now that I think about it). And I just read your post after Nadia Bolz-Weber’s thought-provoking take on the future of church -- https://open.substack.com/pub/thecorners/p/ziggy-stardust-and-the-future-of?r=29kh6&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post -- if you don’t already read her I’d highly suggest this one and would love your take on it.
Wow, I like this post!
I absolutely love how you think! I would so love to have coffee with you and talk for an hour or two or three, about life and God and everything else.
I would love that too!!
Brilliant words, my friend!
brilliant schmrilliant!
I finished How to Stay Married and came back to update you! Short version: I'm glad I read it and I've recommended it to a few others who I thought could read it and appreciate it. Longer take: The presence of faith and religion in the book surprised me. I admired him (and his editors and publishers) for not toning that down. I've only selectively recommend it to people who wouldn't roll their eyes or put it down after the opening pages when he says "I'm a Christian," believers or not. Another reason I haven't widely recommended it is that it is painful to read, sometimes blisteringly honest and lays bare his vulnerability, and because I grew fond of him, I didn't want someone to laugh at that. I had to read it in small chunks because it's dark and there were times I didn't want to pick it up to finish. In the end, I'm glad I did.
This is really interesting—not at all what I expected you to say! Randomly someone recommended it to me the other day, so I think that means I need to pick it up. I like when writers segue from humor to a deeper, more brutal honesty throughout their career trajectory. Thanks so much for the update!
I am so intrigued by this review. You’re the third or so person who’s mentioned it. But I did hear that it definitely was dark. I will get to it eventually but might have to work my way up to it.